On the Verge

On the verge of tears and for no good reason. Is it hormones, work, stress, the emotional roller coaster that is life? I sit in front of my glowing computer screen and I want implode. To cave under the weight on my chest, give into my feelings of doubt and fear. But this will not serve me, giving in will only make it worse. I used an age old trick today, I put makeup on to keep myself from crying as I do not want mascara running down my face at work, ah the ace up my sleeve.

I will not give in, not matter how much I may want to, no matter how hard the emotions choke me and try to take me under. I will stand strong; I will sit on the threshold and not be tempted to take the plunge.

Free Heart

The weight on my heart has lifted. I am free. My heart is free. Free to sore to my potential, to reach new heights. I have the opportunity to learn to love myself and in turn love others more fully. I am free to experience the newness of life. To open my eyes every day for the first time, like a child. I am free from the bondage of another, from the constraints of my body. Mind is limitless and Love, self-love has no boundaries.

Paradise

The moon and the sun shared the sky today. Green treetops peeked through snowy mountains. Crisp winds woke me as I stood in awe of the beauty, which surrounds me, daily. Paradise. Sunny blue skies turn to night; only the moon hangs in the sky. She has lost her partner. She alone lights my way.

Choked

I sit cocooned in my world, breathing in the fumes of my artwork. These smells, they envelope me. In a trance, no one can touch me now. I am safe; until you’re eyes ascend on me. I want to show you my world, to open up to you, but I am afraid.

Afraid of the rejection I may find if I allow you to truly know me. I want desperately to open my heart to you, speak my mind, allow you in, but the terror renders me inoperative. I sit, some much in heart but nothing on my tongue. I cannot speak, I cannot even being to tell you what you mean to me for fear of sounding over zealous. I wish I could harvest a thought, anything to say. I want to explode to share my life story with you; I want to hear yours.

But the veil of fear chokes me and I sit, silent. No longer cocooned in my world, but exposed to the elements of uncertainty.